Not Feeling It

After three visits with my new therapist I have decided I won’t be seeing her anymore. This is what happens every time I have attempted to make a connection with one.

I went in on the first session telling her: Don’t tell me things that I need to do to change my situation or change the people in my life. Talk to me about coping with my situation, as it is.

One of my major issues is just feeling overwhelmed with life, in general. Full time, high pressure job, autistic teenager and a chronically mentally ill husband. When I say chronically mentally ill, I don’t mean he’s a raving lunatic. He is severely OCD, bi-polar, schizophrenic and suffers from panic and anxiety. He can function in many capacities unless it involves change or an interruption of his routine. This throws him into a tailspin.

First thing she starts talking to me about is: wouldn’t it ease some of my stress if my husband made dinner at night instead of me having to do it when I am exhausted from work.

Well, yes, that would be grand. However, that is the time he goes to the gym. Getting him to change his gym time would be a worse task than just making damn dinner myself. If you recall, I asked her not to tell me to change my situation or the people in my world. I already knew life would be easier if he had dinner ready when I got home. Life would also be easier if I were an f’ing millionaire, but I’m not and never will be. He also will never be making dinner every night.

I fell two weeks ago yesterday. A pretty bad fall where I hit my head on the cement foundation of our house and banged my knee very hard on the cement driveway. Thought everything would be fine. Two black eyes, apparently from hitting my forehead, and a very painful and bruised knee. Instead, while the black eyes were damn ugly, the knee started worsening and I ended up, a week and a half in, going to the hospital emergency room. I have bursitis and cellulitis. Not to be confused with cellulite, which I also have, by the way. Evidently, cellulitis is an infection of the inner skin caused by some type of bacteria getting into an open would. So, prescription anti-inflammatory and antibiotics.

On Tuesday when my appointment was due with my therapist, I didn’t feel like my knee was progressing rapidly enough so wanted to go see my own doctor. The infection can get into your blood stream and I was concerned about this. I sent a text to the therapist to cancel my appointment. About 8 hours prior to our meeting time.

The whole point of this story is that she texted back, “I understand but just so you know I normally charge for missed visits if not given 24 hour notice”.

Well, everyone in the world knows this. Am I wrong to think her response lacked understanding or empathy? Would it not have been better to talk to me at the next session about why I missed the appointment and then tell me about the cancellation fee policy? Isn’t a therapist supposed to have understanding and empathy?

Anyway, bye bye therapist.




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